I’ve been trying to figure out where I belong.  It keeps coming up in prayer, in the subtext of conversation, in dreams. It seems to be something we all struggle with.  As I’ve prayed on this, and others have prayed with me, God has begun to teach me.  He started, as it seems He usually does, at home.  

     The phrase God gave me that’s been running through my mind all week is this, “I don’t belong on the throne, I belong on the altar.” I researched a bit to see what those two places symbolize. Biblically an altar is the place where people would go to seek the Lord, to offer a sacrifice, to humble themselves and reach out for God. In a wedding ceremony, the place where the bride and groom meet is called the altar.  It’s a fitting way to start a life together, but how quickly we forget where we belong and sit instead at the throne. The throne is a symbol of authority and power. In my mind I picture each of us with an internal command central, and whatever you place on the throne is what you’ve given control to. Whether it is yourself or someone else, whoever is seated on your throne is running the show.

     After an argument with my husband, I was angry over his unkind words to me. I was praying as I thought over how right I’d been and how wrong he’d been.  The Holy Spirit asked, “Why don’t you pray for him?” I was surprised by my immediate negative response.  I didn’t want to.  I liked my moral superiority in the argument and wanted to savor it.  I could have prayed with my self-righteous heart listing off his alleged shortcomings and asking God to change him, but that wasn’t the kind of prayer God was asking for. He was pressing me for the kind of prayer that changes hearts, and I wasn’t humble enough to pray it.

     Once again, as has become a theme in my life, God was asking me to remove myself from the throne.  I was so busy arguing my point, I didn’t realize I’d climbed up there.  Again.  

I don’t belong on the throne, I belong on the altar.  

     So in that moment, I gave up.  I let go of my being right, because there is no such thing.  There would be no winner as long as I held on to my crown.  This time when I thought of my husband, I thought of the path he’s walking in Christ, and I prayed protection for his heart and mind, for him to see God working and not to let Satan get a foothold.  It was my spirit praying for his spirit, and I realized he was not my enemy.  My enemy was our enemy, the author of sin and destruction, who uses deceit to sneak in on us both, to divide us and set us against each other. This has given me new understanding of ‘praying for our enemies.’ Because when you take yourself off the throne to put yourself on the altar and truly pray, you understand that your enemy isn’t the person, it’s the sin that ensnares them.  

“At the Altar”  by Laura Pappas

     In marriage, no one ever wins the argument; in that union between husband, wife and Holy Spirit, God is the only one who should win. The moment you decide to prove your point, you’ve already lost, because it’s only your point, and you are only a third of the team. You don’t belong on the throne, that seat is reserved for the Lord. Husband and wife belong on the altar, coming together with humility, seeking God and asking for His wisdom.  When God makes His point, we all win.